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Lindsay Lohan is fresh out of rehab and ready to ruffle some feathers.
The “Canyons” star, who just completed a three-month stay at the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, Calif., stood in as host for an episode of “Chelsea Lately” last night, which is set to air next week. During her pre-recorded appearance she lampoons at least two stars: fellow 20-something actress Kristen Stewart and One Direction boy-bander Harry Styles.
Reading off cue cards, Lohan pokes fun at Stewart’s typical upside-down smile during a bit about the “Twilight” star’s recent anti-paparazzi rant. “I’m just excited that Kristen Stewart finally showed some emotion,” Lohan jokes, though she’s quick to add, “I really like [Kristen], I think she’s awesome.”
But she doesn’t stop there. “Of course [Kristen] hates photographers,” Lohan continues. “They caught a picture of her kissing a married man in a Mini Cooper!” She’s referring, of course, to those infamous paparazzi snaps of Stewart making out with her “Snow White and the Huntsman” director, Rupert Sanders.
Lohan also mocks Styles’s recent denial of his rumored bisexuality, while bringing her own private life into the mix. “Harry Styles was on the cover of British GQ,” she reads. “He was questioned by the interviewer about the rumors that he’s bisexual with a DJ named Nick.” Before proceeding, she quickly interjects, “I’ve been there, I have” — a nod to her former romance with DJ Samantha Ronson.
She goes on: “He answered, ‘We’re just friends.’ When asked how many people he’s slept with, Harry said, ‘Yes, lower than 50. You’re cornering me. I’ve only ever had sex with two people.’” Then she delivers the punchline, quipping, “Yeah, he’s never hung out with The Wanted and he’s obviously not counting oral.”
“She said she felt really good,” a source at the taping reveals to People. “And she was polite to everyone, thanked the whole crew. She was on time, hit her marks, and was very funny. The audience loved her!”
Exclusive:Â Lindsay Lohan is getting out of rehab on Saturday, kids. Itâ€™s been 90 days, sheâ€™s fresh as a daisy, and determined to turn over a new leaf. One thing is for sure: we know she can act. Paul Schraderâ€™s â€śThe Canyonsâ€ť screened here last night in New York and Lindsay got kudos (in absentia) from everyone. Indeed, as Schrader said, sheâ€™s grown out of the ingenue stage and into a new chapter as a tough cookie, a broad. Think Annette Bening in â€śThe Grifters.â€ť
And so: it does seem as though Lindsay is going to be in Ben Affleckâ€™s next directing project. Ben is putting together â€śLive by Night,â€ť based on the novel by Dennis Lehane. Lindsay is thisclose to signing onâ€“ possibly as Emma, the tough waitress with a heart of gold who gets involved with the two male leads. â€śLive By Nightâ€ť is a crime noir period piece, and Lindsay would be perfect for it.
In the meantime, Lindsay has agreed to be followed around by Oprahâ€™s documentary crew for the first 45 days of her return home to New York. Sheâ€™s going to be living â€śThe Truman Show.â€ť What better way to keep her on the straight and narrow?
â€śThe Canyonsâ€ť is going to be remembered as a notorious movie, one that should become a cult classic overnight. There is graphic sex. Lindsay is naked, friends. Her breasts are her own and, as Elaine Benes once said, â€śspectacular.â€ť She acts up a storm, is not campy but very controlled and quite riveting. Unfortunately most of her scenes are with real life adult porn star James Deen. His emotions run from A to Z. Deen speaks in a monotone that could hypnotize Edward Snowdenâ€™s interrogators. Thereâ€™s just no way out for him. Iâ€™m not even sure he makes the minimum requirement for porn acting.
Schrader called Brett Eaton Ellisâ€™s characters â€śBeautiful people doing bad things in nice rooms.â€ť I like it! The whole movie cost $250,000 and they raised it on Kickstarter. The production was given a Malibu canyon house â€śand itâ€™s the sixth main character in the film,â€ť Schrader said last night. Itâ€™s owned by someone in the music business, he said.
â€śThe Canyonsâ€ť is rated NC-17, at the very least. You should know that going in. There are threesomes and foursomes, and Iâ€™m not talking bridge or golf. Deen has some sex with a guy which Lindsayâ€™s Tara encourages. This is not â€śThe Parent Trap.â€ť But itâ€™s Paul Schrader, and you know what? Even for $250K it looks good, the direction flows, and thereâ€™s a story.
Schraderâ€™s next film stars Nicolas Cage, and is said to be under the aegis of Red Granite Productions.
Mark your calendars:Â Lindsay LohanÂ is bringing the funny to the small screen and it’s definitely shaping up to be must-TV viewing.
TheÂ star will be guest-hostingÂ Chelsea LatelyÂ next week as she takes over for regular hostÂ Chelsea Handler. Get ready to see Lohan interacting withChuy, running the roundtable, and interviewing a celebrity guest!
Lohan joins an elite group ofÂ Chelsea LatelyÂ guest hosts, includingÂ Dave Grohl,Â Ross MathewsÂ and the Kardashians, among other comedians and celebs.
The all-star event with Lohan taking over for Chelsea premieres Monday, Aug. 5 at 11:00pm ET/PT, only on E!
After going through so many tough moments in her life relating to drugs and alcohol, the troubled star feels that sheâ€™s ready to be a mother. Lindsay Lohan is looking for a sperm donor so she can bring a child into the world.
According to Entertainment One India, Lohan has asked many of her male friends to see if they were willing to donate their sperm. In response her friend told her, â€śSee if you can take care of yourself before you think about bringing a kid into the world.â€ť
Many friends and family are saying that the Freaky Friday actress has gone through too much legal trouble, including going to jail, over the past few years, and she is just not ready.
Lohan is currently in the process of shooting for an untitled Oprah Winfrey Network documentary, which will be aired next year.